The Daily Grind – Random Fiction 1

BUZZ! BUZZ! RING! RING!

Rusty cursed the thought of waking up before the sun had arisen. He slapped the off button on his alarm clock and pulled himself out of bed.

Without time to even eat breakfast, Rusty hopped into his car and ate a granola bar on his way to work. He had to force his eyes to stay open.

Arriving at work, he parked the car and entered into the building.

When his six hours of strenuous and boring work was finally behind him, he clocked out and began his trip back home.

“I think I’ll do something productive today.” Thought Rusty as he sits on his couch watching anime on Netflix.

Before long Rusty took a shower, shaved his hairy face, and laid out his work clothes, ready for tomorrow.

“I’ll do something productive after work tomorrow.” Said Rusty, finishing up his anime marathon.

BUZZ! BUZZ! RING! RING!

“Morning already…”

Rusty got dressed and drove to work. Once more doing his part at work until he could finally go home.

“I worked hard today. I’ll do something productive tomorrow.” Said Rusty, pulling up Netflix.

And though it only seemed like minutes, Rusty’s day was gone in a flash. He went about his before bed routine and got everything ready for work tomorrow.

BUZZ! BUZZ! RING! RING!

Rusty opened his eyes. He stared at the ceiling and thought to himself, “Adulting sucks.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dog Day – James and Derek

James threw the front door open and slammed it behind himself in great hurry.

His chest rose with every deep, stressed breath he took. He’s covered in mud and dirt and his clothes are filthy and torn.

“Have another run I’m with your biggest nemesis the dumpster?” Asked Derek, who’s sitting on the couch with his best friend Alexis (they are watching horror movies).

Alexis giggled.

“No!” James said. “There’s this stupid stray dog down the road and every time I walk by on the way home he attacks me.”

“It was bad enough when people bullied you but now even dogs are doing it.” Derek said.

“It’s getting really old and I’m running out of good clothes.” James sulked, collapsing on the couch beside Alexis.

“Have you tried keeping dog biscuits in your pocket?” Alexis asked.

“Yeah. Needless to say the walk home was quite breezy.” James stated, shuddering at the memory.

“I can take care of the problem.” Derek said as he stuffed his face with buttery popcorn.

“How?” Asked James.

“I can’t give away my dark secrets.” Derek stated. “Now leave us alone before you start crying in fear of the movie.”

The next day James, who has prepared himself for an attack by wearing several layers of winter coats, gloves, and more, began to walk the dreaded path that was home to the vicious large bulldog.

Ten steps in then danger zone and still nothing charging after him.

By the time James arrived at the house, he was pleasantly surprised that Derek was actually able to fend off that bulldog.

“Derek,” James began after stepping inside, “I can’t believe you actually — WHAT THE HECK IS THAT MONSTER DOING HERE?”

Derek is in the kitchen, making a milkshake and standing beside him is the exact bulldog that attacks James every day.

“That’s Stalker. He’s my new pet.” Derek said, petting the dog apparently named Stalker.

“…You’re joking, right?” Asked James.

“Why would I be joking?” Derek responded.

“You can’t bring a stray vicious dog in the house!” James said.

“He’s not vicious.” Derek pat Stalker’s head, then Stalker barked and rolled over for a belly rub.

James stared at Derek. “I’m not cleaning up after him.”

Mr. Weights for Women – Peter

Peter entered into the local gym wearing a tank top and green basketball shorts. Over his shoulder is a small towel and on his right hand a spray bottle.

Making his way to the bench press, he set aside his towel and bottle then proceeded to add fifty pounds to either side of the forty-five pound bar.

After that he sat on the bench press and took hold of his spray bottle which is full of normal water.

He doused his pits, face and hair with water, giving the impression he’s sweating from a long workout. He also sprayed his chest.

Now he laid across the bench press with both hands firmly holding onto the bar.

Now he waited.

He nonchalantly glanced out the window and his eyes behold a gorgeous blonde. Due to her athletic wear, he knew she came to workout.

The moment he heard the door open up, he pushed the bench press bar up slightly, and let it drop back into place loudly.

“One hundred!” He exclaimed as if he were working out for hours. He sat up and said, “Finally, one hundred reps.”

“Oooh, impressive.” The blonde said. She smirked, “You have to show me how you do it! Just one more.”

Peter mentally punched himself in the gut. “Uh, alright…”

He laid back down and Grabbed hold od the bench press bar. He was barely able to heave it, and once it fell to his chest he couldn’t move — or breath.

The girl laughed loudly then effortlessly lifted the bar up and put it back in its place. “If you’re going to fake out working out for woman, you could at least hide the spray bottle.”

Peter fell to the floor and pounded it with his fist. “…Man she was hot.”

Welcome to Guild Camp – Guild Training I

Five groups of guild warriors in-training are bundled together as they listen to the camp Chieftain, Mason Sledge, make some pre-quest announcements.

Most of the trainees are bored to death, fiddling with their weapons as they wait for the boring announcements to end.

“Always exercise caution when dealing with monsters.” Said Mason cautiously. “Being a Guild Warrior isn’t a game. If you die, you are dead. No coming back.”

A particular black haired member of the Carbon Guild scoffed and whispered, “You don’t say, old man.”

His four colleagues laughed out loud to purposefully disrupt the announcements.

They hushed after a devilish look from Mason.

“This year we have five new guilds ready for training. I’ll go over the guild names, their leaders, and then Kathryn will explain your training schedules and class captains.” Mason unrolled a parchment and began to read off the newbie guild names as is;

Quartz Guild, Leader Thomas,
Carbon 
Guild, Leader Barrett,
Gem 
Guild, Leader Courtney,
Stone Guild, Leader Ashton,
Mineral Guild, Leader Cole.

As Cole’s name was spoken out, he grew a cheesy grin and scratched the back of his neck. A girl with pink pigtails began to bounce in excitement.

“We’re gonna be the best guild there ever was, right guys?” Said Cole, turning to his team. On his back is a bronze sword and shield which makes him part of the guild class, Swordsman.

Every team member of any guild is part of one of the twelve guild classes. Each member trains in their class through specialized training programs designed with their class in mind.

“That’s a motivating mindset.” Said Aaron Hawks with a nod of his head. He’s the guild’s Archer, who specializes in bows and nature survival.

“We’ll have to give it our all to accomplish that.” Said Kelsey. She’s a petite woman and the guild’s Medic, so she obviously trains in medicines, medical assistance and herbs.

Gray didn’t speak a word, merely giving out a cold stare. He’s the secluded member. His class is the Chemist, which is a class where users manipulate magical power such as fire (this power is called the “Forsis of Nature”) using a mechanical wrist device named a Castor.

“Sounds good to me, chief. When can I pummel something with my axe?” Said Nella the Axe Wielder. An Axe Wielders only goal is to annihilate their foes. Nella in particular has an appetite as strong as her axe.

“Yay, that’ll be so awesome, I can’t wait!” Shouted Melanie as she still continued to bounce in sheer excitement, her pink pigtails bouncing with her. She’s a Troubadour which is a unique class that mixes magical singing abilities and dangerous physical combat with whips.

That’s the entirety of Mineral Guild. A fledgling group of hopefuls (and one less-than-hopeful) who want to one day graduate guild camp and become an official guild who will be sent off to protect those in need.

“How pathetic, those Mineral’s.” Said the black haired man from before. His name is Barrett and he’s of Carbon Guild. On his back is a semi-auto rifle, and strapped to his belt is an assortment of grenade bombs. This makes him of the Gunner class.

“But wouldn’t that be a good thing? It’ll make things easier for us.” Said Xeyla with folded arms. She’s a Jinx, a class that specializes in crippling hexes and curses that are to be used on opposing forces.

The other members of Carbon nodded in agreement.

Barrett growled as he stared at Mineral guild.

After camp Chieftain Mason finished his announcements, he stepped off the wooden platform and Kathryn, the keeper of Kathryn’s Shoppe, took his place.

“Hello, nice to see this years new bunch of guilds!” She said cheerfully, her chubby cheeks smiling wide. “I’m Kathryn, the owner of Kathryn’s Shoppe. But I also oversee the request board, which is located outside of my shop.”

She continued, “Every class has their own training schedules and class captains, who will teach you all you need to know. Training is required every day of the week, except Sunday, and you will train twice a day.” She pulled out a worn parchment and began to read off the schedules.

“Swordsman, Medic, and Axe Wielder class, training begins directly after breakfast at nine o’clock. Your captains are Cedric, Mary, and Reggie respectively. At ten…” she continued to list off the schedules of the remaining nine classes.

After the mention of Medic Captain Mary, Kelsey “Squeee’d!” and stood on the balls of her feet. “I’ve read so much about Captain Mary! I heard one time she saved a man who was fatally ill, and they were lost in a forest so all she could use was a stick, a couple of herbs, a parchment of her coat, and her bare hands…” she half whispered. “In the end, once they escaped the forest, they got married. It’s so touching and romantic.”

“That’s…uh, nice?” Cole responded.

“Training will began tomorrow!” Kathryn concluded, rolling up the parchment. “Additionally, any guild who proves capable during the first week of training will be allowed to partake in the initiation quest. More details on that next week!”

The five guilds began conversating with their own team, most expressing concern or pride.

One rather pudgy member of Quartz guild shared, “Just warning you guys, I get extreme gas when I’m feeling pressured.” Which led to the rest of the team groaning loudly.

“I’m ready to take on this measly initiation test, what’s the hold up?” Said Nella loud, clear, and with pride.

“I can’t wait either, it’ll be a blast!” Said Melanie hyper-actively.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be trained under Captain Mary’s own teaching and ways. Maybe one day I’ll save a man’s life with only a stick, herbs, parchment and my own hands. Then we’ll get married and live happily ever after.” Said Kelsey all aflutter, hearts replacing the pupils in her eyes.

“Aren’t you a bit young to be thinking about marriage, you have like ten years before you even can.” Said Cole, an eyebrow raised.

“A bit young?! How old do you think I am?” Questioned Kelsey furiously, pointing an index finger.

Cole blinked and frowned. “Ten? Twelve?”

Kelsey’s face turned pink and her eyes narrowed on Cole. “I’m sixteen, I’m as old as the rest of you!”

Nella laughed. “Sixteen? No way, look at you compared to me or Melanie.” she said teasingly.

Kelsey looked very upset, angry and humiliated.

Cole began to wave his arms defensively and said, “No worries, Kelsey. An honest mistake, you look just fine!”

Gray’s face practically said, ‘These guy are a bunch or morons.’

“Your only saying that because you feel bad.” Kelsey said.

Nella was still laughing, and Melanie joined her as she was innocently unaware how it made Kelsey feel.

“Okay everybody, settle down!” Aaron said, unimpressed with the behavior of his team members. “This isn’t reassuring progress of team work.”

“We’re just playing around.” Said Melanie.

“Playing around at the expense of Kelsey’s feelings.” Cole stated.

“Huh?” Melanie frowned, confused.

“Please. You did it first.” Nella folded her arms.

“I didn’t know any better. You did so on purpose.”

“Guys. Please, let’s just drop it. You’re acting like children.” Aaron said firmly yet collected.

Chieftain Mason returned to the wooden platform to make one last announcement. “Those are all the rules and guidelines to this camp. You can always consult your guild guide booklet if you have any questions. Dinner will be an in hour, and until then you should go to your designated cabin and make yourself at home.”

Each guild set off for their cabins. There was at least twenty-five cabins in the area, built to form a circle and each cabin face inward to the circle. A dirt trail from each of the cabin’s main door leads to the center of the circle where a stone wall holding a flower bed full of pink and yellow flowers, and a flag pole resides. The official camp flag waves valiantly in the breeze.

 

This was only the first of many cabin areas.

Each occupied cabin has a sign hanging over the wooden deck that has the guild’s name carved into it. At least fifty percent of the cabins are owned by guilds who are into their second year of camp or more.

Each cabin has four rooms. The main room which holds a two three person couches, a small table for six, a coffee table for the couches, and a small cooling cabinet (which could only preserve food for up to three days.) The left and right rooms are lodging for the boys and girls respectively, and each hold as many beds and dressers needed by the guild occupying it. The last room is a small bathroom.

After securing their things and beds in their cabins, meeting up with the other guilds (including those who are up to their final fourth year,) and enjoying a delicious chicken and bread dinner, every guild returned to their cabins to sleep and prepare for their very first day of training.

There were some complications doing so for some, as Melanie found it suitable to talk to Nella and Kelsey all night, Gray and Hawk had difficulty due to Cole’s snoring, and of course everybody at the Quartz cabin were holding their noses and coughing due to the pudgy one’s gas.

Bicycle – Peter and Stella

“Hey Peter, wanna go on a bike ride?” Stella asked.

Peter, who is sitting on the couch watching TV and drinking an orange soda said, “I can’t right now.”

“Of course you can. All you’re doing is watching TV.” Stella said.

“You don’t understand. I really can’t right now.” Peter said.

“How come?”

“Because my bike is two tired.” Peter laughed out loud.


Today’s Question: Do you have a friend who’s always blurting out lame puns?


If you enjoyed my flash fiction, please let me know in the comments. I love to hear what you have to say, even if it’s constructive criticism. Please Share my story with others!

While you’re at it, why not check out my other flash fictions? There’s many more that feature the McWilliams family, and so much more!

Thanks for Reading!

Do You Like Pie? – Derek, Peter, and James

Sheila, mother of the McWilliams family, walks into the living room, phone between her left ear and shoulder.

“Boys, what’s your favorite kind of pie?” She asks.

“Pizza pie.” Derek answered, eating a potato chip.

“3.14159265359.” James answered, looking up from his robot blueprints.

“Every pie except James’s pie.” Peter answered, chugging down an orange soda and switching TV channels.

Haley shook her head and said, “Dear, just buy them cherry pie.” as she walked out of the room.


Today’s Question: What’s your favorite kind of pie, or are you more of a cake person?


If you enjoyed my flash fiction, please let me know in the comments. I love to hear what you have to say, even if it’s constructive criticism. Please Share my story with others!

While you’re at it, why not check out my other flash fictions? There’s many more that feature the McWilliams family, and so much more!

Thanks for Reading!

Seafood

“Good evening, sir. What can I get for you?” Said the waiter.

“I’ll take a big, juicy steak. Medium well.” Said the customer.

“And will that be all?”

“That should do it.”

“Very well.”

The customer received his meal ten minutes after he ordered. The waiter returned five minutes after that.

“How is your meal, sir?” Asked the waiter.

“It’s good, but they gave me seafood.”

The waiter’s eyes popped open. “I’m terribly sorry sir, I’ll go and—”

After taking a big bite the customer said, “See, food!” And he opened his mouth wide.

The waiter held back a gag and said, “Oh, the vulgarity!” as he walked away.


 

If you enjoyed my flash fiction, please let me know in the comments. I love to hear what you have to say, even if it’s constructive criticism.

While you’re at it, why not check out my other flash fictions? There’s many more hilariously entertaining stories like this one, and so much more!