Dog Day – James and Derek

James threw the front door open and slammed it behind himself in great hurry.

His chest rose with every deep, stressed breath he took. He’s covered in mud and dirt and his clothes are filthy and torn.

“Have another run I’m with your biggest nemesis the dumpster?” Asked Derek, who’s sitting on the couch with his best friend Alexis (they are watching horror movies).

Alexis giggled.

“No!” James said. “There’s this stupid stray dog down the road and every time I walk by on the way home he attacks me.”

“It was bad enough when people bullied you but now even dogs are doing it.” Derek said.

“It’s getting really old and I’m running out of good clothes.” James sulked, collapsing on the couch beside Alexis.

“Have you tried keeping dog biscuits in your pocket?” Alexis asked.

“Yeah. Needless to say the walk home was quite breezy.” James stated, shuddering at the memory.

“I can take care of the problem.” Derek said as he stuffed his face with buttery popcorn.

“How?” Asked James.

“I can’t give away my dark secrets.” Derek stated. “Now leave us alone before you start crying in fear of the movie.”

The next day James, who has prepared himself for an attack by wearing several layers of winter coats, gloves, and more, began to walk the dreaded path that was home to the vicious large bulldog.

Ten steps in then danger zone and still nothing charging after him.

By the time James arrived at the house, he was pleasantly surprised that Derek was actually able to fend off that bulldog.

“Derek,” James began after stepping inside, “I can’t believe you actually — WHAT THE HECK IS THAT MONSTER DOING HERE?”

Derek is in the kitchen, making a milkshake and standing beside him is the exact bulldog that attacks James every day.

“That’s Stalker. He’s my new pet.” Derek said, petting the dog apparently named Stalker.

“…You’re joking, right?” Asked James.

“Why would I be joking?” Derek responded.

“You can’t bring a stray vicious dog in the house!” James said.

“He’s not vicious.” Derek pat Stalker’s head, then Stalker barked and rolled over for a belly rub.

James stared at Derek. “I’m not cleaning up after him.”

Mr. Weights for Women – Peter

Peter entered into the local gym wearing a tank top and green basketball shorts. Over his shoulder is a small towel and on his right hand a spray bottle.

Making his way to the bench press, he set aside his towel and bottle then proceeded to add fifty pounds to either side of the forty-five pound bar.

After that he sat on the bench press and took hold of his spray bottle which is full of normal water.

He doused his pits, face and hair with water, giving the impression he’s sweating from a long workout. He also sprayed his chest.

Now he laid across the bench press with both hands firmly holding onto the bar.

Now he waited.

He nonchalantly glanced out the window and his eyes behold a gorgeous blonde. Due to her athletic wear, he knew she came to workout.

The moment he heard the door open up, he pushed the bench press bar up slightly, and let it drop back into place loudly.

“One hundred!” He exclaimed as if he were working out for hours. He sat up and said, “Finally, one hundred reps.”

“Oooh, impressive.” The blonde said. She smirked, “You have to show me how you do it! Just one more.”

Peter mentally punched himself in the gut. “Uh, alright…”

He laid back down and Grabbed hold od the bench press bar. He was barely able to heave it, and once it fell to his chest he couldn’t move — or breath.

The girl laughed loudly then effortlessly lifted the bar up and put it back in its place. “If you’re going to fake out working out for woman, you could at least hide the spray bottle.”

Peter fell to the floor and pounded it with his fist. “…Man she was hot.”

Summer Pool Fool – Derek, Peter, and James

“Wahoo!” Peter cried of joy after jumping off of the highest diving board and making a perfect sploosh.

“Told you it was awesome!” Derek said vigorously.

They gave a high five which only served to splash water in both of their eyes. They both shouted and desperately tried to rub the chlorine out.

“That’s why I wear goggles.” James said, floating next to them.

“James, you gotta try the highest diving board, it’s insane.” Peter said.

“I won’t even do the shortest diving board, what makes you think I’d do the highest?” James questioned.

“Come on Mr. Goggles. If you won’t go, we’ll take you there.” Derek said.

James protested non stop as his two older brothers took him by the arms and literally dragged him to the ladders and carried him up to the highest diving board.

They blocked the ladder so he was forced to jump if he wanted to get down.

“Only one way down, bro!” Peter laughed.

“I hate you guys.” James deadpanned.

“Love you too.” Derek said.

James gulped and peered down the edge of the diving board. He figured he shouldn’t be seeing three of the same pool.

“Do it before the sun burns you, we all know how sensitive your pale skin is!” Peter teased loudly.

“I hate you guys so much.” James repeated.

Standing with knobbly legs, James took a deep breath and loosened himself for a jump.

3, 2, 1…!

After only one jump, James lost his footing on the board and slid off, landing on the board below it which knocked the air out of him. He slid off that one and fell in the pool with a splash so small a sick chihuahua could’ve achieved greater than it.

The entire public pool erupted in laughter as James climbed out of the pool, wrapped a towel around his waist, and stormed toward his house.

Derek was still laughing even after Peter had settled.

“How long do you think it’ll take before he realizes he forgot something?” Derek asked Peter as he held up James’ sopping wet blue and white swim trunks.

“He’ll never swim again!” Peter laughed.

Poison Ivy – Peter and Selena

“You should take a whiff of these cool leaves.” Said Peter to Selena. They are on a walk through the woods.

“What kind of leaves do you have there? Asked Selena, glancing toward her older brother through her spectacles.

“These pointy shiny ones.” replied Peter, showing one to Selena.

Selena cringed but also held back a laugh. “Peter…that’s poison ivy.”

Peter didn’t believe her. “Nice try, Selena. I’m older than you, and you think I wouldn’t know what poison ivy looks like?”

The next day Peter’s face was covered in glossy red bumps and rashes and his skin was bright red. On his hands he wears oven mitts to prevent further scratching.

“C’mon Selena, why didn’t you tell me it was poison ivy?” Peter complained as he fought the painful urge to scratch.

“Some people just have to learn the hard way.” Selena rolled her eyes.

 


 

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A Real PUNishment – Derek, Peter and James compete to see who’s the punniest!

“It’s really hot in here.” Said James, using a paper plate as a fan.
“It’s just me.” Said Peter with a smug look on his face.

Derek blew a raspberry from across the table. “You’re about as hot as Antarctica.” He laughed.

“Woah woah woah, just cool it. Snow need to be so harsh.” Peter said.

Water you thinking throwing puns out like that?” Derek said.

“If you ever want to be as good as me, you have a lot to ketchup on.” Peter said.

“I’m bread-y for anything you throw at me.” Derek said.

“You’re toast then.” Peter said.

“You’re skills butter be greater than your mouth.” Derek said.

“Maybe a nice fruit punch will prove my point.” Peter said.

“It wood-‘nt hurt berry much!” Derek said.

“You’re such a pine in the butt.” Peter said.

“I have something fir yew.” Derek said.

“Is it acorn-y joke?” Peter said.

“It mite bee.” Derek said.

“Just tell me what it is. You’re so slug-ish.” Peter said.

Finally James jumped in and said, “He’s not good at thinking of things on the fly.

“Speaking of, yours is currently down.” Derek said, breaking the chain of puns.

“What?!” Shouted James, embarrassed.

Peter laughed. “That was a punny joke.”

“Oh brothers.” James rolled his eyes.


 

If you enjoyed my flash fiction, please let me know in the comments. I love to hear what you have to say, even if it’s constructive criticism.

While you’re at it, why not check out my other flash fictions? There’s many more that features the McWilliams family, and so much more!

Thanks for Reading!

Board Days – Derek and Stella

“I can’t do it!” Cried Stella, dropping to her knees in fear.

“Come on, sis. It’s not that scary.” Said Derek. “All you do you is push and stay balanced.

“I can’t!”

Derek set his skateboard on the concrete and stepped upon it. He shoved off and rocketed down the concrete ramp. Once down, he rode around and stopped where he had started.

“See, it’s easy.” He said, stepping off the board.

Stella gulped, got to her feet, and stared at her board. Slowly she worked up the courage to stand on it then…she kicked off and down the ramp she went!

Like a master, she rode around kicking the ground for more speed. Seeing she finally has it down, Derek kicked off as well.

Only his board had a loose wheel, so when it broke off the board tossed Derek across the concrete amd down the half pipe.

“I can’t do it!” Cried Derek, refusing to stand up.

“Come on, bro. It’s not that scary.” Said Stella. “Your wheel popped off, it won’t happen again.”


 

If you enjoyed my flash fiction, please let me know in the comments. I love to hear what you have to say, even if it’s constructive criticism.

While you’re at it, why not check out my other flash fictions? There’s many more that features the McWilliams family, and so much more!

Thanks for Reading!

Prohibited Study

Rock music is blasting through the speakers of Derek’s stereo. Derek and Peter are rocking out, pretending to rift electric guitars and rocking their heads as if they had long rock star hair.

Oh YEAAAAAH!!” The boys sang along with the song.

“Do you guys mind, I’m trying to study.” Said James, sitting Indian style with his books on his lap.

His older brothers continued to rock.

“DO YOU GUYS MIND, I’M TRYING TO STUDY?!” James attempted to shout over the ear splitting music.

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD!” Derek shouted back.

“WHAT?!” Peter questioned loudly.

“I’M TALKING TO JAMES!” Derek shouted.

James took his school books and walked out of the room.

How can they listen to that stuff. My ears are still ringing…” James thought to himself.

He sat on the couch beside Stella and began to read school books again.

“Ooh, James, look! This is my favorite part!” Stella excitedly said, pointing at the TV screen and shaking her brother’s shoulder.

“I’m trying to study right now.”

Stella began laughing out loud, falling back on the couch. “I love this show.”

James left. This time he tried the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Selena is hopping as she’s trying to reach for the animal crackers in the top cabinet.

“I can’t wait until I hit my growth spurt.” She complained, folding her arms and looking up at the crackers. “James can you get those for me, please?”

“I guess so.” James grabbed the bag of crackers and gave them to Selena. “Now can you please be quiet so I can study?”

“Sure! I won’t say a word.”

Selena sat across from James, reading a mystery novel that girls her age would normally fond difficulty understanding.

Crunch…

Crunch…

James gave Selena a look as she absent mindedly ate her crackers and read.

“I’ll be outside.” Said James, grabbing his stuff once more and walking out the front door.

He found himself a nice soft patch of grass under a large oak tree. It was cloudy out, a chance of rain definitely present, but the tree would provide shelter.

“Finally…nobody is out here to bother me.” James began reading again. Now that there’s no distractions, he’s really beginning to understand it all.

His mind is entering focus mode. It’s all so simple and easy, he had to laugh over the fact he didn’t know about it.

It—

Splat!

A berry like bomb suddenly bursted on his school book, right in the bend of the pages. He set his jaw and slowly looked upward, seeing a robin who was likely the suspect of the white and purple goop.

“I give up.” James said, closing the book and leaving it where he was sitting.