Stuck in Elevation – Derek and the Dorks

Derek is fast walking his way towards the mall, his backpack latched onto his back. His mother told him that he needed to drop by the mall to pick Stella’s tennis uniform she had ordered. And that he needed to go immediately after school.

But he wasn’t fast walking cause he needed to hurry. He was fast walking because of who was trailing him.

Nigel and Maurice, aka the school dorks.

“Derek,” heave, “you sure are fast!” said Maurice as he tried to keep up.

“We can’t show you our new playing cards from the Arc Wizards vs The Goblin Empire expansion pack if you keep up that pace!” Said Nigel.

Maurice nodded vigorously. “They even added a new a new type; Light!

“As tempting as that sounds,” Derek began, his tone of voice as least caring as it could ever be, “I’m gonna have to miss out. I need to pick up my sister’s outfit, and—”

“We’ll wait outside, then!” Both dorks said in unison with equal enthusiasm.

Derek cringed. “No, don’t do that.” he said.

“We’ll go in with you, then!”

Before Derek could express is utter distaste for their statement, they followed him into the overcrowded mall.

There were hundreds of people and dozens of stores. Derek tried to make a run in attempt to lose the dorks, but they kept right on his tail, telling him all about their new expansion pack.

In and out of stores, under and around crowds of people, and he even tried to hide in the bathroom.

Finally he ran as fast as he could into an elevator that leads him to the clothes store he needed to pick up Stella’s outfit from.

The dorks were nowhere to be found. Derek quickly selected to go up one floor and the doors closed.

With a sigh of relief, Derek leaned against the wall and patiently waited for his stop.

“Why are you picking up Stella’s outfit anyway?” Asked Nigel.

Derek exclaimed and turned around. Both Nigel and Maurice are now in the elevator with him.

“But—you—how did you—what?!” Derek rambled.

“He’s acting awful suspicious.” said Maurice. “You sure you’re not just trying to avoid us?”

Then the elevator stopped and the lights went out. The doors never opened.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!!” Derek shouted out in frustration.

The dorks proceeded to enthuse Derek about their dorky fantasy card game, oblivious to his anger.

Poison Ivy – Peter and Selena

“You should take a whiff of these cool leaves.” Said Peter to Selena. They are on a walk through the woods.

“What kind of leaves do you have there? Asked Selena, glancing toward her older brother through her spectacles.

“These pointy shiny ones.” replied Peter, showing one to Selena.

Selena cringed but also held back a laugh. “Peter…that’s poison ivy.”

Peter didn’t believe her. “Nice try, Selena. I’m older than you, and you think I wouldn’t know what poison ivy looks like?”

The next day Peter’s face was covered in glossy red bumps and rashes and his skin was bright red. On his hands he wears oven mitts to prevent further scratching.

“C’mon Selena, why didn’t you tell me it was poison ivy?” Peter complained as he fought the painful urge to scratch.

“Some people just have to learn the hard way.” Selena rolled her eyes.

 


 

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Seafood

“Good evening, sir. What can I get for you?” Said the waiter.

“I’ll take a big, juicy steak. Medium well.” Said the customer.

“And will that be all?”

“That should do it.”

“Very well.”

The customer received his meal ten minutes after he ordered. The waiter returned five minutes after that.

“How is your meal, sir?” Asked the waiter.

“It’s good, but they gave me seafood.”

The waiter’s eyes popped open. “I’m terribly sorry sir, I’ll go and—”

After taking a big bite the customer said, “See, food!” And he opened his mouth wide.

The waiter held back a gag and said, “Oh, the vulgarity!” as he walked away.


 

If you enjoyed my flash fiction, please let me know in the comments. I love to hear what you have to say, even if it’s constructive criticism.

While you’re at it, why not check out my other flash fictions? There’s many more hilariously entertaining stories like this one, and so much more!

Canadian Root Beer – Peter and Derek

A cute blonde girl is hastily retrieving things from her locker, looking like she’s trying to get out of there as soon as possible.

“What’s up, babe?” Said Peter the lover of all girls. He’s leaning against the locker beside hers.

The blonde girl muttered something along the lines of ‘So close!’ She kept a tight grip on her books and said, “Hello, Peter…”

“So I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me for a movie tonight?” Asked Peter cooly.

“Sorry, I-I can’t because…” Her mind raced for an excuse. “Because I’m moving to Canada!” She quickly said.

“I can go with you! We can eat some Canadian bacon and drink Canadian root beer. Do they make that?”

“No! You can’t because…my dad is allergic to you.” On her way to break into a run, she dropped one of her books. She didn’t bother to retrieve it and ran as fast as she could.

Derek walked up beside Peter and said. “Wow. I’ve never seen Tabitha run before in my life.”

“She totally digs me, bro.” Peter chuckled.


 

If you enjoyed my flash fiction, please let me know in the comments. I love to hear what you have to say, even if it’s constructive criticism.

While you’re at it, why not check out my other flash fictions? There’s many more that features the McWilliams family, and so much more!

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Board Days – Derek and Stella

“I can’t do it!” Cried Stella, dropping to her knees in fear.

“Come on, sis. It’s not that scary.” Said Derek. “All you do you is push and stay balanced.

“I can’t!”

Derek set his skateboard on the concrete and stepped upon it. He shoved off and rocketed down the concrete ramp. Once down, he rode around and stopped where he had started.

“See, it’s easy.” He said, stepping off the board.

Stella gulped, got to her feet, and stared at her board. Slowly she worked up the courage to stand on it then…she kicked off and down the ramp she went!

Like a master, she rode around kicking the ground for more speed. Seeing she finally has it down, Derek kicked off as well.

Only his board had a loose wheel, so when it broke off the board tossed Derek across the concrete amd down the half pipe.

“I can’t do it!” Cried Derek, refusing to stand up.

“Come on, bro. It’s not that scary.” Said Stella. “Your wheel popped off, it won’t happen again.”


 

If you enjoyed my flash fiction, please let me know in the comments. I love to hear what you have to say, even if it’s constructive criticism.

While you’re at it, why not check out my other flash fictions? There’s many more that features the McWilliams family, and so much more!

Thanks for Reading!