Pasta Puns – Derek and Peter

“Peter, don’t eat with your hands!” Sheila, the mother, commanded her son, who is eating spaghetti with his hands.

“But mom, I’m not stroganoff to use a fork.” Peter laughed.

“The real Peter would never admit to not being stroganoff…you must be an impasta!” Derek hopped on the pun train.

“You’ve lost your noodle!” Peter responded.

“I bet you paid a pretty penne for that one.” Derek said.

“No way, puns are a part of my daily rotini.” Peter said.

“You look as dough you’re coming up with these on the spot!”

James is shaking his head. “Would you guys cut it out?” He asked with shake of his head.

Wheat a minute, we’re not done yet!” Peter and Derek said at the same time.

“Here we go agrain.” James deadpanned.

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Stick-It Notes – Gus and Peter

Gus, father of the McWilliams children, walked to the kitchen for a bite to eat.

Recalling chocolate pie in the fridge made that his first stop.

He opened up the refridgerator and behold, half a chocolate pie. But there was a stick-it note on the plastic lid.

“Do not eat – Peter” is what it read.

There was also a note on the orange soda. “Do not drink – also Peter”

In fact, all of the food in the fridge had a stick-it note plastered onto it with a family member’s name on it.

Giving up on a snack, Gus decided to watch some TV. He plopped on the couch and picked up the remote.

It also had a stick-it note!

“I call the TV next – Derek” it read.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Said Gus.

The car keys, bathroom door, laundry, board games, video games, laptops, phones, EVERYTHING had stick-it notes stuck to them by various members of the McWilliams family, each claiming ownership as if the stick-it note prevented others from using whatever they’re stuck it.

And it worked so far…

Gus shook his head. “I know how to stop this.”

Peter walked in the house, a bag of fast food in his hands. “I need to stick-it note my ownership on these…”

He walked to the closet to grab a stick-it note but was shocked to see the package of stick-it notes had a note on it.

“These are mine now. – Gus/Dad”

“Darn it.” Peter said.

Procrastination – Derek and Selena

Selena let out a loud groan, rubbing her temples.

“What’s the matter with you?” Asked Derek.

“I have this school project I have to do with Brandon, but my head is killing me right now…” She took her glasses off momentarily.

“Then don’t do it?” Said Derek with a shrug.

“I have to do it. It’s a school project, remember?” Selena repeated.

“What I meant was don’t worry about it now. Just do it later.”

“How would that help?” She asked.

“Selena, Selena, Selena.” Derek echoed. “It’s called procrastination. Don’t do it until you feel like it!”

Selena gave him a weird look. “That doesn’t sound very productive.”

“That’s the point.” Derek said. “Just listen to me. Have I ever done you wrong?”

“Do you want me to sugar coat the answer?” She asked. “But I guess I’ll try it. I’ll do more harm than good feeling this way anyway.

Two Weeks Later…

Selena and Brandon carted their parts of a project together. Brandon said, “Okay, I think I’ve made mine right. What about yours?”

Selena half chuckled and rubbed her arm. “Well actually…”

Confused, Brandon removed the cover of Selena’s project to reveal it was nothing more than scattered parts and unused tools.

“What the heck do you call this?!” He exclaimed in horror, knowing well they were gonna fail.

“I call it ‘I’m never listening to my brother’s advice again.'”

A “Wand”-derful Wizard – Peter and Selena

At first sound of a truck making a stop at their place, Peter dashed down the carpeted stairs and made it out the front door before the UPS man even got out of his truck.

He bounced excitedly as the less-than-enthusiastic UPS man grabbed a box from his truck and handed it over to Peter.

“It’s finally here!” Peter shouted joyously. This caught Selena’s attention, who was sitting in a lawn chair reading Sci-Fi.

“What’s here?” She inquired, taking a moment to look away from her novel and watch Peter tear the package open.

“From this day forth, my life will be changed forever…” Peter heroically raised his hand into the air. In his palm was a shiny wooden wand. “Behold.”

“…really?” Selena questioned without feeling. “Fantasy is so lame.”

“Oh yeah? Is this lame?” Peter questioned. He wove the wand around in circular motions. “Levitate!”

Nothing happened. Selena returned to her novel.

“Stupid thing. Let’s try an easier one…” He wove the wan again, this time cross ways at a rock. “Imitate!”

Nothing happened.

Peter quickly grew bored and tossed the wand backward, sighing and returning to the house.

As Selena was enjoying her novel, she suddenly heard a clang at the foot of her chair. Looking down she noticed a rock jumping at it. On it’s own!

For a second she stared at the thing before reality sunk in.

“Ayyye!!” She shrieked, dropping the novel and running in the house. “Peter you’re stupid wand works!

Terrible Tennis – Stella and James

Stella pranced onto the clay tennis court, dribbling the tennis ball in place on one side of the court.

James begrudgingly stepped to the other side of the court. He was forced to help his sister practice.

“Ready for this?” Stella shouted.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” James said half heartedly.

Stella served the ball forcefully. James ran after it but missed by a long shot.

“You’re supposed to hit the ball!” Stella said.

“Then hit it to me!” James retorted.

Stella served another ball, this one towards James. He swung after it but it bounced and hit him in the face, knocking his glasses off.

“That makes the score 30-love.” Said Stella.

“But you only scored twice? And what do you mean by ‘love?'” James questioned in confusion. He got to his knees in attempt to locate his glasses.

“Tennis scoring goes 15, 30, 40. And love means you have zero points.”

And out of seemingly nowhere, Peter ran by saying, “Guess that means James really does get a lot of love when it comes to girls!”

Stella cracked up and James, after returning his large white glasses to his face, began to walk away.

“Where’re you going? You still need to help me practice!” Stella shouted after him.

“To get a girlfriend.” James said simply.

Peter and Stella were beside themselves with laughter, falling to the clay court.

Do Not Press – Joe and Jim

Joe, an easily entertained and fun loving individual is walking along with his less than optimistic cohort Jim.

“Isn’t this an amazing day, Jim?” Joe said brightly.

“No.” Jim mumbled, wishing he were home in bed.

Along their walk they came across an odd looking statue of a woman wielding a hammer. Before it was a stone plaque with a big red button on it and a sign that read “Do Not Press”

“Look’it that!” Joe enthusiastically said, running over to the button in a humorous flailing fashion.

“Here we go again…” Jim bummed.

They stared at the button.

“It says donut press! It’ll give us donuts!” Joe said, pressing the button instantly.

“I don’t think that’s what it means.” Jim warned.

After he pressed the button the statue began to turn 180 degrees, rumbling the earth all around them. The statue, once stopped, dropped its hammer.

And then nothing else happened.

“Bummer.” Joe said in disappointment.

“Told you.” Jim said.

Then the statue crumbled and out from it donuts spewed by the dozens.

“Yes!!” Joe screamed of sheer excitement as he began stuffing his face.

“How did Jane get so lucky as to stay home?” Jim wondered, not at all amused.

Rocket Robbery – Peter and Stella

“It doesn’t take a genius to know this is a bad idea.” said Stella, arms folded and eyebrow quirked.

“That’s what makes it fun!” Peter stated proudly as he picked the lock on Derek’s door. Derek is currently away from the house with some friends.

The two inched into his room. It’s decorated with guitars, countless photos of himself, family, and friends, as well as a blown up picture of James’ eye in a twitch. Even while he’s away he left his stereo playing rock music from his big, expensive speakers.

Peter opened up the bottom drawer of Derek’s dresser and began to dig around.

“You sure it’s in there?” Stella questioned. She was about to ask why he’d hide a rocket in the first place, but the answer was very clear to her.

Peter unearthed the functional model rocket from the depths of Derek’s dresser. “Positive!”

The two scrambled out the door, down the stairs, across the living, through the garage (where a curious little robot called Prototype began to follow), and finally out to the front yard.

Peter assembled the model rocket on the driveway and firmly held the remote control.

And dropped it.

“Lemme see it.” Stella said, reaching for the remote.

“I took it and assembled it. You get your turn after mine.”

Prototype blipped happily.

The rocket hummed as Peter sent power into it. Before long the rocket blasted into the air, impressing the three watchers.

At least until it flew into second story window with a loud crash!

“Nice going.” Said Stella.

Peter chuckled. “At least it’s back in Derek’s room…”

Neither were aware of Prototype, who’s eyes quickly turned red. He shouted in his synthesized robotic boy voice, “Intruder breaking in!”

Both Peter and Stella exclaimed, trying to calm the aggravated robot.

“It’s not an intruder!” Peter shouted, waving his arms.

But it was too late. Prototype fired a REAL rocket into the very same window the FAKE rocket blasted into. There was a loud boom, some fire, lots of breaking sounds. One of Derek’s expensive speakers flew out of the window and nearly beheaded Peter.

Peter and Stella exchanged a glance.

“Technically Prototype broke his room, so…” Stella began.

“Then technically that makes it James’ fault since Prototype is his robot…” Peter mentioned.

“Intruder neutralized.” Prototype said.

Peter and Stella slowly walked away from the robot.