Pasta Puns – Derek and Peter

“Peter, don’t eat with your hands!” Sheila, the mother, commanded her son, who is eating spaghetti with his hands.

“But mom, I’m not stroganoff to use a fork.” Peter laughed.

“The real Peter would never admit to not being stroganoff…you must be an impasta!” Derek hopped on the pun train.

“You’ve lost your noodle!” Peter responded.

“I bet you paid a pretty penne for that one.” Derek said.

“No way, puns are a part of my daily rotini.” Peter said.

“You look as dough you’re coming up with these on the spot!”

James is shaking his head. “Would you guys cut it out?” He asked with shake of his head.

Wheat a minute, we’re not done yet!” Peter and Derek said at the same time.

“Here we go agrain.” James deadpanned.


Scary Movie Night – Michelle, Mike and James (Part 1)

It’s finally here. Friday night. No school. Parents are out. several friends with nothing to do besides watch the hands of a clock tick on by.

    This is the perfect setup for the ultimate scary movie night. Mike has popcorn, sodas, candy, and to top it all off…

    Energy drinks.

    There’s only two pitfalls to this nearly perfect plan. Grandma Susan is home, and his little sister Michelle is home. Michelle is only twelve, and it’s a PG-13 movie, so…she can’t watch it. It’s a guys only movie night anyways.

    Thankfully, there should be a fix for both of these problems:

    For Susan, all he has to do is give her a bag of cherry flavored pull-apart Twizzlers, and presto! She’ll lock herself away with those.

    Michelle is the easiest, because all he has to do is threaten that he’ll drop a loogie on her again. And he would, he’s been doing it for nearly seven years. It will keep her in her room because she hates it.

    “So can you make it?” Mike asked over the phone, pacing the kitchen floor over.

    “Yeah, sure. I don’t have anything better to do. I’ve just been watching the clock hands tick by.” A boy’s voice spoke on the other end. It’s his friend, Tim.

    “Great, see you soon, then!” He ended the call and sat his smartphone on the kitchen counter.

    Aside from Tim, he invited a few other people, which includes his other friend, Hayden, and their new-ish across-the-street neighbors Derek and Peter McWilliams. But not their youngest brother, James. He’s not thirteen yet.

    They’re actually not that new, as they’ve been living there for a couple of months, and Mike’s mom knew them for many years, because she went to school with Derek’s mom when they were kids about a hundred or so years ago. Whenever they were teenagers.

    Michelle walked in the kitchen, asking, “Mike, did grandma make dinner yet?” as she took a seat on one of the bar stools.

    “No,” Mike said, “I told her we would just have sandwiches tonight.”

    “Why would you tell her that?” she questioned.

    “Because it’s fast and easy, and I have friends coming over soon.”

    Michelle grabbed a bag of Skittles off the counter. “Is that what the candy is for?”

    “Yeah,” he snagged the bag of candy from her, “it is. I’m having a movie night, and I need you to stay in your room.” He took a skittle and ate it. It was a green one, in case you were wondering.

    “How come? Can’t I watch it with you guys?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

    “No. We’re watching a grown up horror movie.”

    She shuddered. “Well you’re not a grown up.”

    “But I’m over thirteen. And it’s rated PG-13.” Mike replied. “Maybe you can watch it…when you’re old enough. But until then…”

    “I would totally watch it with you guys. I’m only one year early.”

    “No you can’t, you’re too young. I just said you have to be thirteen. And it’s also a guys only movie night. Now go back up to your room before I give you your favorite.” Mike warned, referring to a loogie over her face.

    “I’ll tell Mom and Dad when they get home.” Michelle warned.

    Mike didn’t respond. Instead, he grabbed Michelle’s arm and started to hock up a loogie.

“No!” she ripped her arm out of his grip. “Fine. I’ll go to my room. But let me get my sandwich first.”

    “Just hurry up.”

    Mike is kinda anxious, and as a result, he’s being extremely impatient.

    It’s his first ever guys only scary movie night. Actually, this is his first ever movie night, so he wants it to be perfect. He’s been to others before, so he has to make a good impression for his peeps.

    Michelle took two slices of bread and began spreading some peanut butter and jelly on it. She noticed a peculiar can of some sorts sitting on the table. “What’s this?” she asked.

    “That’s an energy drink. And no, you can’t have one.” Mike answered.

    “We’re not allowed to have energy drinks!” Michelle exclaimed. “Does Grandma know about this?”

    “Grandma went to the EX-Press mart and bought them for me.”

    Michelle shook her head. “You’re gonna get in so much trouble…and so is Grandma, apparently.”

    Although…she was curious to how an energy drink may taste.

    After eyeing the can for a few moments, she took her sandwich and brought it up to her room.

    “If I get caught, which I’m not.” Mike muttered as he watched her walk upstairs. He sat the Skittles back on the counter.

    There’s about ten more minutes until his friends arrive with the movie, so he decided to use this time to make the popcorn and prepare sodas.

    Mike heard a knock on the door. He opened it up and, as he expected, it was his friends.

    “Hey guys.” Mike greeted. He stepped aside so they could walk in. “Are you guys ready for the ultimate guy’s horror movie night?” he enthusiastically asked.

    “Yeah!” Tim answered. “I brought the movie. Zomstrosities of the Demon’s Den.”

    Mike smirked. “Awesome!”

    “Yeah uh…” Derek began. “Our parents wouldn’t let Peter and I go if we didn’t bring baby brother, so…”

    James is standing in-between his elder brothers, arms folded with a bored expression on his face. “I’d rather be at home tinkering, not wasting my time watching a horror movie. And I’m not a baby, I’m twelve years old!”

    That wasn’t part of the plan…oh well. Nobody will know he watched a PG-13 movie.

    “Sorry James, but I don’t see much else you could do. Since you have to be here, after all.” Mike said. “Unless you’d rather hang out with Michelle through the entire movie. I’m sure it’d make her happy to have company.”

    “Oooh!” All the guys teased in unison.

    James blushed. “No. I’d rather just have stayed home.” he responded defensively. “There is much better ways to spend one’s time.”

    “Don’t tell me that you’re scared, little bro!” Peter teased.

    Derek gave James a slightly painful noogie. “It’s just a movie!” he stated.

    James rubbed his head and straightened his white bifocals, deciding to remain silent. Sometimes that’s the best solution.

    It’s always the best solution.

    “Just so you guys know, if I fall asleep, I snore like a mammoth whose caught a cold in the middle of the ice age.” Hayden admitted randomly, finally deciding to speak up.

    They all stared at him weirdly for a couple of seconds, but then they all bursted out laughing.

    “Okay,” Mike said in between laughter, “we need to get this started before it gets too late.”

    Mike popped the Blu-ray disc out of the Zomstrosities case and inserted into the entertainment station, then pressed Start.

    The boys all scattered to random comfort locations.

    Hayden sat in grandma Susan’s rocking chair. He made sure to note that it “smells like apples and fresh laundry.” From left to right, James, Peter and Derek sat on the couch. Both Mike and Tim sat in front of the couch. They think because they’re the closest to the TV, they’re the bravest.

    All of the lights are turned out, the only source of light coming from the TV. There’s several cans of orange soda and various kinds of candy on the coffee table.

    Once started, the title, Zomstrosities of the Demon’s Den appeared on the screen, accompanied by blood curdling screams and cries of agony. The title text dripped, like warm blood streaming from a fresh wound.

    A number of the boys felt uneasy already, however they are all too stubborn to admit to it. Except James, who frowned and glanced to his side, keeping his eyes off the TV as much as he could get away with. He still wished he hadn’t come.

    “The sins of man have troubled us greatly. These…monsters. We’ve created them with our own evil deeds.” A man on the movie spoke. “Because of our ignorance…our carelessness.”

    On the TV, a hideous creature that appears to be a monstrous zombie flashed on the screen. It’s flesh is torn and exposed. Blood trickles from it’s face down to it’s body. Several bones are visible, such as the bottom jaw, along its limbs and parts of its ribcage.

    It shrieked as it tore into a man who’s holding a gun, ripping his body to shreds in a bloody assault before the man even had the time to pull the trigger. It turned toward the screen and shrieked once more as it charged toward the screen and lunged.

    “This is…” James began, but he was shushed by all the others.

    “We’re responsible for these monstrosities. And now we pay for our sins…but God, please have mercy on our souls.”

    Lightning flashed.

    “Every third month of every third year…a terrible storm covers the planet. The demon’s den opens. And they break loose.”

    “First they kill the adultsthose most capable of self-defense. Then they attack the children. Before long, all of humanity lives on by only a thread…”

    Mike and Derek are watching on, like motionless zombies.

    Tim and Peter have huge, uninterrupted smiles. Definitely interested and not at all sickened or shakened.

    James squeezed his body as close as he could between the corners of the couch, with a blanket over his lap and in his hands. He continued to glance away from the screen as often as he could.

    Hayden is already asleep, snoring like a mammoth stricken with a cold in the middle of the ice age, which completely offsets the unsettling mood this movie instills. Several of the boys throw him an annoyed glare, but quickly return their gaze to the screen as several horrified and blood curdling screams are heard.

    “This movie is so good…” Mike whispered. “You don’t even need popcorn.”

    “I know right?” Tim answered as he took a handful of popcorn right after a guzzle of orange soda.

    “Hey that was my orange soda!” Peter complained.

    Through all of this, Michelle had wandered out from her room, peeking from the tip top of the spiral staircase. She knew full well that Mike would punish her if he found her out, but she was still hungry. She only had one sandwich after all.

    Thankfully, Mike and his buddies were all too engrossed in that horror movie to notice her presence.

    She snuck down the staircase, very light footed because the stairs like to squeak as if you’re stepping on rubber chickens.

    Tiptoeing across the living room, and crawling behind the couch, before long she was in the kitchen. Boom bam, she’s like a ninja!

    Using her newfound ninja skills, she expertly scavenged some of the plenteous of junk food they left in the kitchen…

    And she only dropped half of the bag of Skittles on the floor!

    “Oops!” She whispered, quickly fixing the bag in an upright position and darting for the door. The sound of the Skittles falling would surely alert the movie watchers.

    All of the guys broke focus from the TV because of the noise from the kitchen. It sounded strangely of dropped marbles.

    Michelle backed against the doorway, out of their sight.

    “What was that?” James instantly asked, breathing heavier than before.

    “I don’t know…” Mike responded uneasily.

    He cautiously stood from the floor, staring at the doorway to the kitchen. Eventually the rest (except Hayden, cause he’s still sleeping,) followed suit. The TV continued to flash and shine behind their bodies.

    “You don’t think it’s…?”

    “No way. It’s not storming, it couldn’t be…”

    All the boys slowly walked into the kitchen, and Michelle pressed her body tightly against the wall, closed her eyes and held her breath as they passed her.

    Thankfully, none of them noticed her. So once they all passed, she quietly walked back in the living room and headed for the stairs.

    Except somebody is walking down the stairs!

    What can she do? The boys are all in the kitchen, and Susan decided she needed to grab a midnight snack! Gah! Why is life always against her?

    Probably because this Author is a terrible person. That seems like the most logical reason.

    With no other course of action to take, she jumped over the arm of the couch and pulled the blanket completely over herself.

    Susan walked on by, completely oblivious to the snoring mammoth and of the wicked movie blaring on the TV.

    She flipped on the kitchen light.

    “Ah!” All the boys shouted, scared out of their wits. They all covered their burning eyes from the sudden light.

    “What’s going on here?” Susan questioned as she witnessed all the boys scream like little school girls.

    “Grandma, I—”

    “And how come I wasn’t invited?” She finished.

    All the boys sighed in relief.

    “Yeah, sorry grandma. I would have invited you, but it’s kind of a boys movie night.” Mike explained.

    Susan shook her head in disbelief. “No, I see what’s going on,” Susan said sadly. “You just think you’re too old for you old grandma, don’t you Mike?”

    “No, grandma. You’re just overreacting again…” Mike bummed.

    “Don’t try to explain it to me, that’s what you really think…unless you could prove to me it’s not…?”

    So that’s it. Susan was never upset, she only wanted to con Mike out of more Twizzlers. Figures.

    Mike rolled his eyes and handed Susan a bag of cherry licorice off the table, and she went on her merry way.

    “Sorry guys,” Mike apologized, “let’s get back to the movie.”

    They all walked back to the living room, resuming previous positions. Except Peter decided to join Mike and Tim on the floor this time. Also James and Derek swapped sides. Okay, so it’s almost nothing like their previous positions…

    “They’re coming! Quickly seal the doors—

No. They’re…they’re breaking through! They’ve got my leg! Augh, they’re digging into my leg! It hurts! Augh!! They’re ripping me in—”

    The zombie snarled violently as he ate the man. Several people are backed into a corner with zombies slowly approaching them.

    “Not my baby! No!” A woman shouted in desperation as her child is being chased by zombies.

    Thankfully her husband sliced off the heads of the zombies which gave his child enough time to escape…

    But it cost him his life.

This is part 1 of 3. This is an old story of mine which I decided to post here for your entertainment. Hopefully you liked it!

Stick-It Notes – Gus and Peter

Gus, father of the McWilliams children, walked to the kitchen for a bite to eat.

Recalling chocolate pie in the fridge made that his first stop.

He opened up the refridgerator and behold, half a chocolate pie. But there was a stick-it note on the plastic lid.

“Do not eat – Peter” is what it read.

There was also a note on the orange soda. “Do not drink – also Peter”

In fact, all of the food in the fridge had a stick-it note plastered onto it with a family member’s name on it.

Giving up on a snack, Gus decided to watch some TV. He plopped on the couch and picked up the remote.

It also had a stick-it note!

“I call the TV next – Derek” it read.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Said Gus.

The car keys, bathroom door, laundry, board games, video games, laptops, phones, EVERYTHING had stick-it notes stuck to them by various members of the McWilliams family, each claiming ownership as if the stick-it note prevented others from using whatever they’re stuck it.

And it worked so far…

Gus shook his head. “I know how to stop this.”

Peter walked in the house, a bag of fast food in his hands. “I need to stick-it note my ownership on these…”

He walked to the closet to grab a stick-it note but was shocked to see the package of stick-it notes had a note on it.

“These are mine now. – Gus/Dad”

“Darn it.” Peter said.

Procrastination – Derek and Selena

Selena let out a loud groan, rubbing her temples.

“What’s the matter with you?” Asked Derek.

“I have this school project I have to do with Brandon, but my head is killing me right now…” She took her glasses off momentarily.

“Then don’t do it?” Said Derek with a shrug.

“I have to do it. It’s a school project, remember?” Selena repeated.

“What I meant was don’t worry about it now. Just do it later.”

“How would that help?” She asked.

“Selena, Selena, Selena.” Derek echoed. “It’s called procrastination. Don’t do it until you feel like it!”

Selena gave him a weird look. “That doesn’t sound very productive.”

“That’s the point.” Derek said. “Just listen to me. Have I ever done you wrong?”

“Do you want me to sugar coat the answer?” She asked. “But I guess I’ll try it. I’ll do more harm than good feeling this way anyway.

Two Weeks Later…

Selena and Brandon carted their parts of a project together. Brandon said, “Okay, I think I’ve made mine right. What about yours?”

Selena half chuckled and rubbed her arm. “Well actually…”

Confused, Brandon removed the cover of Selena’s project to reveal it was nothing more than scattered parts and unused tools.

“What the heck do you call this?!” He exclaimed in horror, knowing well they were gonna fail.

“I call it ‘I’m never listening to my brother’s advice again.'”

A “Wand”-derful Wizard – Peter and Selena

At first sound of a truck making a stop at their place, Peter dashed down the carpeted stairs and made it out the front door before the UPS man even got out of his truck.

He bounced excitedly as the less-than-enthusiastic UPS man grabbed a box from his truck and handed it over to Peter.

“It’s finally here!” Peter shouted joyously. This caught Selena’s attention, who was sitting in a lawn chair reading Sci-Fi.

“What’s here?” She inquired, taking a moment to look away from her novel and watch Peter tear the package open.

“From this day forth, my life will be changed forever…” Peter heroically raised his hand into the air. In his palm was a shiny wooden wand. “Behold.”

“…really?” Selena questioned without feeling. “Fantasy is so lame.”

“Oh yeah? Is this lame?” Peter questioned. He wove the wand around in circular motions. “Levitate!”

Nothing happened. Selena returned to her novel.

“Stupid thing. Let’s try an easier one…” He wove the wan again, this time cross ways at a rock. “Imitate!”

Nothing happened.

Peter quickly grew bored and tossed the wand backward, sighing and returning to the house.

As Selena was enjoying her novel, she suddenly heard a clang at the foot of her chair. Looking down she noticed a rock jumping at it. On it’s own!

For a second she stared at the thing before reality sunk in.

“Ayyye!!” She shrieked, dropping the novel and running in the house. “Peter you’re stupid wand works!

Terrible Tennis – Stella and James

Stella pranced onto the clay tennis court, dribbling the tennis ball in place on one side of the court.

James begrudgingly stepped to the other side of the court. He was forced to help his sister practice.

“Ready for this?” Stella shouted.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” James said half heartedly.

Stella served the ball forcefully. James ran after it but missed by a long shot.

“You’re supposed to hit the ball!” Stella said.

“Then hit it to me!” James retorted.

Stella served another ball, this one towards James. He swung after it but it bounced and hit him in the face, knocking his glasses off.

“That makes the score 30-love.” Said Stella.

“But you only scored twice? And what do you mean by ‘love?'” James questioned in confusion. He got to his knees in attempt to locate his glasses.

“Tennis scoring goes 15, 30, 40. And love means you have zero points.”

And out of seemingly nowhere, Peter ran by saying, “Guess that means James really does get a lot of love when it comes to girls!”

Stella cracked up and James, after returning his large white glasses to his face, began to walk away.

“Where’re you going? You still need to help me practice!” Stella shouted after him.

“To get a girlfriend.” James said simply.

Peter and Stella were beside themselves with laughter, falling to the clay court.