Do Not Press – Joe and Jim

Joe, an easily entertained and fun loving individual is walking along with his less than optimistic cohort Jim.

“Isn’t this an amazing day, Jim?” Joe said brightly.

“No.” Jim mumbled, wishing he were home in bed.

Along their walk they came across an odd looking statue of a woman wielding a hammer. Before it was a stone plaque with a big red button on it and a sign that read “Do Not Press”

“Look’it that!” Joe enthusiastically said, running over to the button in a humorous flailing fashion.

“Here we go again…” Jim bummed.

They stared at the button.

“It says donut press! It’ll give us donuts!” Joe said, pressing the button instantly.

“I don’t think that’s what it means.” Jim warned.

After he pressed the button the statue began to turn 180 degrees, rumbling the earth all around them. The statue, once stopped, dropped its hammer.

And then nothing else happened.

“Bummer.” Joe said in disappointment.

“Told you.” Jim said.

Then the statue crumbled and out from it donuts spewed by the dozens.

“Yes!!” Joe screamed of sheer excitement as he began stuffing his face.

“How did Jane get so lucky as to stay home?” Jim wondered, not at all amused.


Grape Juice – Michelle and Mike

Mike is sitting down at the computer desk in the living room, pencil in hand and homework before his eyes.

He’s trying his hardest on this test, because it’s due tomorrow and if he doesn’t pass, he knows for sure he will hear from his dad.

Truthfully, he has been slacking on school for quite awhile now, and once his parents found out, it got ugly. Very ugly. So this test is top most priority for him.

“Hey Mike,” Michelle greeted, walking by his side and taking a sip of her bottle of grape juice. “What’re you up to?” She asked.

“Go away, Michelle. I’m busy right now, we can play later.” He replied, never removing his eyes from the paper before him.

She sat her juice bottle down and leaned over the desk to get a better view of his work. “What are you busy doing?”

These pointless questions were starting to annoy Mike. “My homework, now go away so I can finish.”

“What does this mean?” She asked him curiously, lifting her hand to point at a specific sentence. But as she lifted her hand she accidentally knocked her juice bottle over.

The contents began pouring out…all over Mike’s nearly completed homework…

“You clumsy idiot! I spent all day working on this test!” He quickly picked up his work, and hopped out of the chair because it was spilling on his pants too.

“I’m sorry, Mike!” she frantically apologized. She sat the bottle up and took his homework, “Don’t hurt me, I’ll fix it, okay?”

She took a dish rag and started wiping over the papers, but this only proved to make it worse because it was smearing all his writing and tearing the paper.

“You’re making it worse!” He took it from her and growled, “Great, now it’s ruined!”

“I’m sorry!”

“You’re gonna be, short stuff!”

Michelle gulped loudly as Mike looked and sounded absolutely livid about his ruined homework.

She tried to run but, as usual, she didn’t make it far. Maybe about five feet tops.

Mike is older than her, faster, stronger and taller. She knew her escape wasn’t possible, but she tried anyways. Give her some props.

She hated being the younger sibling, it’s almost never fun. The only thing worse than being a younger sibling is having an older sibling. And maybe broccoli.

Mike has her by the arm. She’s still trying to escape but it’s not working. He’s dragging her across the room, and out the back door onto the wooden deck.

“What are you going to do to me?” She squeaked in worry.

“Your favorite.”

“No, not that!”

Mike pushed her to the ground. She scrambled to get away but he grabbed her by her yellow shorts and pulled her back.

Michelle pouted. While she does love her brother, he can be a real jerk sometimes. Namely when she accidentally does something wrong, which is quite often.

He laid her flat on the ground, face up, and held her arms down with his hands.

He had her pinned down, she was unable to escape the impending doom. His face was above hers. He’s getting ready to dangle a loogie over her, she knows it. She only hopes that it doesn’t fall this time.

She continued to whine and attempt escape. “Mike I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to, please don’t do this!” She shouted as a last resort.

“Yeah, well thanks to your juice, mom and dad are going to kill me because of a big fat F that’s going to be on my report card!” Mike retorted, “And after this you’re going to do my test over for me!”

“Mike!” She cried as he began hacking up the loogie in her face.

He kept her there for quite some time, leaving her with the never ending fear of that gross slimy saliva falling.

He did eventually let her up, but only because his test did indeed need to be finished, and she was to finish it for him.

“You’re the worst, Mike. I hate being the younger sibling.” Michelle complained as she sat down before a blank piece of paper and several school books that were above her education level.

“Well that’s your own problem, now fix mine.”

She huffed and took the pencil and began writing. Mike left the room, not wanting to waste his time watching her do his test over again.

She didn’t know what any of this meant. It all looked like hooey to her, so she began scribbling on the page. She actually just thought of something brilliant. Mike isn’t here…he probably won’t even look at the work she did… Michelle smiled. She could use this as revenge for her completely unneeded punishment.

Once she was finished with his homework, she stuffed it in his backpack and prayed that he wouldn’t look at it.

“It’s finished.” Michelle said as she walked into the kitchen, where Mike is making a turkey sandwich.

“It better be good, and better than my average unless we want to have a repeat of this morning’s activity.” he threatened.

“It’s definitely better than a D.” She joked.

“Don’t try to be funny with me, I’m still mad.”

“Come on, Mike. It was an accident.”

Mike finished making his sandwich, and left the kitchen without another word. As if being tortured isn’t enough when he’s upset with her, she also gets extremely bored without someone to talk to or play with.

“I wish mom were home…” She said, resting her head on her arms on the table boredly.

The next afternoon, at school, Mr. Clay requested all the homework that is due that morning. He began reading them off one by one, but once he got to Mike’s he stopped momentarily.

“Michael Retro!” He called out firmly.

Mike’s attention darted from his twiddling thumbs to Mr. Clay an in instant. “Yes sir?”

“You were told to answer a test on History, not ‘25 reasons why Clarissa Clarity is the cutest girl ever.’

Clarissa blushed slightly and glanced at Mike, while Mike blushed profusely and sank in his desk. The students reaction is an even mixture of “Awws” and laughter.

“Michelle!” He mumbled quietly.

Mr. Clay continued reading on. “Or how about the sequel: 50 reasons why Bill and Anna are the biggest dummies ever.

What?!” Mike almost shouted.

Bill Loney and Anna Fender were the two biggest, baddest people in his class. He can’t believe Michelle even went that far!

Mike’s expression froze as he suddenly heard knuckles cracking and teeth grinding from behind him.

“I’m sure you’d like to explain all this…while in detention.” Mr. Clay said, glaring at Mike. “And while we’re at it, you get an F.”

Several guys threw paper balls at Mike as he stood up and exited the classroom, while several girls whispered and passed notes to Clarissa about Mike and giggled.

Later, during recess hour, both Anna and Bill are scouting the area for Mike, but he’s still in detention (but they don’t know that because they’re dumb, like Michelle wrote on his paper.) Unable to locate him, they then decide to find someone who may know of his whereabouts.

“Hey pipsqueak,” Anna called out, referring to Michelle. “Where’s your brother at, we have something we need to tell him.”

Michelle, who’s currently facing away from them sitting on the metal dome climber, dropped backward, hanging upside down on the bars by her legs. “Hm?” she asked, her ponytail dropping behind her head.

“Your brother. Where’s he at?” Bill asked intimidatingly.

“I don’t know. Judging by his homework he turned in, he’s probably in detention.” She answered with a sly smirk.

“That’s what we want to talk to him about.” Bill replied.

“Wait,” Anna said, eyebrow raised in suspicion. “How do you know about his homework?”

Michelle giggled. “Well, I accidentally ruined his original homework, and after that he kept being a jerk to me, then made me do his homework all over again.

So to get back at him, I filled his homework with stuff about Clarissa and these two doofuses that he’s always complaining about.” She explained in between laughter, “It was great, I wish I could have been there to see his reaction.”

“One of the names didn’t happen to be Anna, was it?” Anna questioned.

“Or Bill?” Bill added.

“Yeah! Those were the names!”

Anna and Bill shared angered glances before glaring at Michelle.

Michelle raised an eyebrow at their devious looks before she realized that they were the two, big, fat, ugly doofuses that she wrote about.

They both lunged at her, but ended up running into each other as Michelle dropped inside of the dome climber. Luckily, they both were kind of chubby and slow, unlike Mike, so it took them some time to hop in there with her.

“Come back here you little stink!” Bill shouted angrily, humorously trying to fit through the bars.

“Now we’re gonna beat you, and your lousy brother!”

“That’s why I’m running!” Michelle said.

They chased her all around the playground. Over the swings (which Bill tripped over,) around the merry-go-round, and across the seesaws… All the while, many a kid watched, but not one bothered to do something about it.

“Why should I risk getting pummeled too?” All the other kids thought as they watched.

Michelle climbed up the wooden play fortress and continued to run. She glanced back and saw that only Bill was giving chase, apparently Anna was already tired out. It wouldn’t surprise her.

Michelle crawled through a small blue plastic tube and made a final sprint for the slides. She quickly hopped on the slide and pushed herself down. Bill was far behind her, trying to squeeze through the tube.

Once she made it to the bottom, all she would have to do is run inside the school and find a teacher. Except, once she did make it to the bottom, she was met with Anna. She had been waiting at the bottom of the slide for her.

“Uh oh!” Michelle exclaimed. She quickly turned around and started to climb up the slide, but Anna grabbed her legs and pulled her back.

“Finally got you, you little twit!” Anna said in between huffs and panting from running so much.

“It was Mike’s fault!” Michelle helplessly blamed.

“For what you wrote about us?” Anna questioned, not at all convinced.

“Well, I only wrote what he always says about you, and now I know it’s all true!” Michelle shouted while kicking her legs as she was forced out of the slide.

“Anna! I’m stuck!” Bill shouted from on top of the play fortress.

“Hold on, I have to deal with her!” Anna shouted back. “Well, now I know you’re just as fun to bully,” she chuckled evilly. “You put up more of a fight than your brother.”

Michelle fought and squirmed around in her grip. “Let go of me!” she shouted.

She has to wonder why in the world she’s always getting picked on (even though this time it is kinda her fault.) Really though, Mike does it all the time, sometimes with the help of their cousin Chad, and now these two bums are doing it.

“The more you squirm, the more it’ll hurt. Which is perfectly fine by me!” Anna said.

Anna held Michelle’s wrists very tightly, it almost felt like the tightest point of a blood pressure strap, only it hurt a lot more and she isn’t checking her blood pressure.

“I don’t like it when people say, do, write, or even think about anything bad about me or Bill!” Anna shouted in her face.

“It wasn’t even that bad!”

“We read it, and we didn’t like it! Now shut up before I shut you up myself!” Anna scolded, small bits of spit escaping out of her putrid food muncher.

Michelle obeyed. She didn’t want to be pummeled to a pulp. Harder than she’s going to get, anyways.

Michelle clenched her eyes shut as Anna pulled her fist back. It was only a matter of seconds now.

Its should be happening…it should…

It… It hasn’t happened yet.

Why…why hasn’t it?

Michelle peeked open an eye, and found that there was a lack of Anna before her. Actually, in the distance, there was an Anna being dragged away by an adult. A teacher perhaps? Michelle didn’t know, but she’s just glad that her bully has been stopped.

She let out a sigh of relief. Although her bully has been dealt with, she still has to deal with her brother later when they get home. Hopefully mom or dad will be home before them, though that’s not usually the case. Grandma is usually there, though.


Speak of the brother.

She turned to face Mike. “I know, I know. My favorite.” She said dully, as she began to lay down on the ground.

Mike chuckled and shook his head. “No. I’m not going to do that.”

Michelle lightly gasped and sat up. “You’re not?” She asked incredulously. “But I messed up your homework. And…and I made you get an F.”

“You little twit, you did didn’t you?” Mike said, doing a half motion toward her but then backing off while laughing. “I’m just joking.” He chuckled and helped his sister up.

“But you always do it to me. Even when you’re not mad.”

Mike stared at her boredly. “I’m trying to be nice here, do you want me to do it?”

Michelle shook her head. “No!” She said, “I’m just surprised.”

“Well, I do it to you a lot. You’re my little sister, it’s what you’re here for. But at the same time you are my little sister, so I can’t always do it to you. Besides, I think what you almost had coming is more than enough for the day.” Mike explained.

“Did you get the teacher to take Anna away?” Michelle asked.

Mike nodded.

Michelle hugged him and began to lightly tear up. “I’m sorry about your homework, Mike.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry about overreacting about the situation in the first place. You didn’t mean to spill the juice on my homework. At least, you better not have.” He eyed Michelle suspiciously.

“Of course not, I would never do it on purpose.” she confirmed.

Behind Mike, some giggling could be heard. Michelle curiously looked passed him, while Mike himself groaned.

“Will you girls leave me alone? I don’t like Clarissa like that!” He shouted in irritation.

“Yes you do!” All the girls giggled at the same time.

Michelle tried to fight back her own giggles. “Sorry about your new fan club.”

“No, it’s fine. Because I would take these girls over Anna and Bill any day.” He said. “Here’s a few tips: Never look them in the eye, never say, do, write or even think anything bad about them, and most of all…always give them your lunch money, unless you want them to hang you on the flag pole.”

“What if I don’t bring lunch money?”

“Always bring lunch money. The one time a kid didn’t bring lunch money, he was never heard from again.”

Michelle sighed. “You don’t think they’ll really continue to bully me do you?”

Mike placed his hand on her shoulder. “Welcome to the Bill-Anna Battlefield.”

Later, that evening on the school grounds…

“Anna?” Bill called out. He’s still stuck in the small blue tube. “Anna?!” He shouted out loudly. He’s been calling out for her or at least somebody for hours now.


-The End-

This is a short story that I wrote about a year ago.

The story takes place in the same universe as The McWilliams Family.

Hope you enjoyed the reading!

Rocket Robbery – Peter and Stella

“It doesn’t take a genius to know this is a bad idea.” said Stella, arms folded and eyebrow quirked.

“That’s what makes it fun!” Peter stated proudly as he picked the lock on Derek’s door. Derek is currently away from the house with some friends.

The two inched into his room. It’s decorated with guitars, countless photos of himself, family, and friends, as well as a blown up picture of James’ eye in a twitch. Even while he’s away he left his stereo playing rock music from his big, expensive speakers.

Peter opened up the bottom drawer of Derek’s dresser and began to dig around.

“You sure it’s in there?” Stella questioned. She was about to ask why he’d hide a rocket in the first place, but the answer was very clear to her.

Peter unearthed the functional model rocket from the depths of Derek’s dresser. “Positive!”

The two scrambled out the door, down the stairs, across the living, through the garage (where a curious little robot called Prototype began to follow), and finally out to the front yard.

Peter assembled the model rocket on the driveway and firmly held the remote control.

And dropped it.

“Lemme see it.” Stella said, reaching for the remote.

“I took it and assembled it. You get your turn after mine.”

Prototype blipped happily.

The rocket hummed as Peter sent power into it. Before long the rocket blasted into the air, impressing the three watchers.

At least until it flew into second story window with a loud crash!

“Nice going.” Said Stella.

Peter chuckled. “At least it’s back in Derek’s room…”

Neither were aware of Prototype, who’s eyes quickly turned red. He shouted in his synthesized robotic boy voice, “Intruder breaking in!”

Both Peter and Stella exclaimed, trying to calm the aggravated robot.

“It’s not an intruder!” Peter shouted, waving his arms.

But it was too late. Prototype fired a REAL rocket into the very same window the FAKE rocket blasted into. There was a loud boom, some fire, lots of breaking sounds. One of Derek’s expensive speakers flew out of the window and nearly beheaded Peter.

Peter and Stella exchanged a glance.

“Technically Prototype broke his room, so…” Stella began.

“Then technically that makes it James’ fault since Prototype is his robot…” Peter mentioned.

“Intruder neutralized.” Prototype said.

Peter and Stella slowly walked away from the robot.

Paper – Derek, Peter and James

“Do you guys mind?” Questioned an irritable James who’s trying to read a science-y looking book.

“We’re minding our own business, what’s your problem?” Asked Derek.

“You are, that much is true. But you’re both crinkling those wads of paper and it’s really distracting.” James stated.

“You mean like this?” Said Peter, then he and Derek began simultaneously crinkling the paper balls in each of James’ ears.

“Really, just stop it!” James shouted.

Derek and Peter exchanged a glance.

“Fine, we’ll stop.” Derek said.


James could finally concentrate on his book now that his two older brothers stopped acting like four year olds.

But you should know by now that this was to be short lived.


“What the heck, guys!” James exclaimed has big wet paper spit balls smacked him in the face.

“You told us to stop crinkling the paper. But we needed to do something with it.” Peter said.

“I’m leaving.” Said James, standing up and walking toward the bedroom door.

About twenty spit balls stuck to his back as Derek and Peter initiated rapid fire on their little brother. After he left the room they proceeded to spit paper at each other until they ran out of paper.

“Now what.” Derek said.

“We could use my homework, not like I’ll need it.” Peter offered.

“Let’s do it.”

Basketball – Michelle and Mike

Siblings. They are just plainly unpredictable. One day, they’re happy as can be, playing and getting along with each other. Then the next day rolls around and suddenly they’re the worst of enemies. They can bicker about  the strangest things, and half of the time it’s not even worth the fight. But in their eyes it’s somehow worth it. Winning that worthless fight is their only goal; no matter the argument.

    Michelle and Mike are shining examples of fighting siblings. Sometimes Michelle gets on Mike’s last nerve, or sometimes Mike teases Michelle one too many times. But regardless, a day doesn’t go by without them duking it out at least one time.

    And today is no exception.

Mike Retro and his best friend Clarissa Clarity are walking down the tan carpeted hallway, out from his dirty room and down the spiral stairs.

    Mike is holding a Spalding Official NBA basketball in his hands. Both he and Clarissa are dressed in blue jeans and winter jackets.

    He has a cotton dark gray jacket. The pocket lips and zipper chain is highlighted in electric blue. He’s also wearing a blue baseball cap over his short, dark brown hair. His eyes are a shade of green.  

    Clarissa’s flannel jacket is purple and pink. Her hair reaches below her shoulder blades and the color is light brown. Her eyes are a deep blue.

    Normally they wouldn’t bother with dressing warm, but it’s pretty cold outside, so they had to. Else they want to hear from Mike’s mom about it, which they definitely don’t.

    As they made their way down the stairs, Mike swung around the rail at the bottom of the stairs, running to the front door while Clarissa just walked down, not running until she hit the last step.

    Almost there. Mike thought to himself as he gripped the handle of the front door.

    “Hey Mike, what are you guys doing?” A younger, light auburn haired girl asked. She’s Mike’s little sister, Michelle. She’s wearing a light blue T-shirt with a shooting star pattern, and white shorts. Her hair is pulled up into a ponytail with a white scrunchie.

    Mike huffed in annoyance. She’s been following them all throughout the day, and it’s really starting to annoy him. I mean, doesn’t she have anybody else to play with? Friends, mom or dad…anyone besides Clarissa and him?

    “Clarissa and I are going outside to play basketball.”

    “Can I play with you guys?” She asked hopefully.

    Mike and Clarissa exchanged glances, Mike’s face showing irritation, while Clarissa’s was neutral.

    “No. I’ve already told you to leave us alone.” He replied rudely. “Go find something else to do.”

    “I’m sure you can find something to do, Michelle.” Clarissa encouraged.

    Michelle grabbed Mike’s arm and began shaking it. “Please? I wanna play with you guys!” She begged. “I’ve been playing alone all day. Just this once?”

    Mike whipped his arm away. “No Michelle!” He shouted. “Mom, can you please do something?”

    “Shelly, baby, why don’t you come help me in the kitchen and leave your brother alone?” Her mom offered gently.

    “No, I want to play basketball too.” She whined. “Clarissa, can I play?”

    Clarissa sighed. Now she’s on the spot. She didn’t want to hurt Michelle’s feelings by saying no, but she also didn’t want her to play because…well, she really isn’t that good.

    She was about to speak but Mike took over for her. “Michelle, I’ve told you already, now go before I make you.” He demanded, standing tall before her.

    The young girl frowned and looked away sadly. “You’re such a jerk sometimes, Mike.” She muttered under her breath.

    “What did you say?”

    “I didn’t say anything!”

    “Yes you did, you called me a jerk!” He shoved Michelle.

    “Okay guys…there’s no need to fight.” Clarissa intervened, butting in between of them. “We can just play a board game or something.”

    “No, I didn’t!”

    “Yes, you did!”

    “Okay, well…here they go.” Clarissa just dropped out and sat on the couch. There was no stopping them until they were finished. Might as well watch Garfield and Friends to pass the time.

    “All I wanted to do was play with you guys!”

    “Well too bad, you can go play somewhere else!”

    Michelle, out of anger, swiped the basketball from his arms and began running away.

    “Hey!” Mike chased after her. “You’re gonna wish you hadn’t done that, I’ll make sure of it!”

    Their mother walked out of the kitchen and removed her oven mitts. She shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Clarissa.” She apologized for her children. “You can help me out in the kitchen if you’d like?”

    Clarissa thought for a moment. “Sure, why not.”

    Michelle sprinted down the hall and made a sharp turn into the bathroom. The door was quickly slammed shut and the knob clicked to a lock.

    Only a second behind, Mike began relentlessly trying to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. He banged on the door. “Fine, stay in the there. But I’m not moving from this spot until you come out!” He shouted, folding his arms and planting his feet.

    The bathroom was silent, save for her panting. She sat on the toilet seat and held the basketball tightly against her chest.

    What could she do? The logical thing to do would be to confront Mike and make amends, but who knows what he’ll do to her. Or she could just make a living in here. She’ll never stink or go thirsty, but there wasn’t any food. There has to be another way out…

    The window against the wall instantly grabbed her attention. Maybe she was small enough to fit through?

    Mike waited outside impatiently, holding his ear to the door. He couldn’t quite tell what he was hearing, but he could hear something. It kind of sounded like something clicking, then that something being slid along something else.

    The window… he thought.

    Her feet froze against the freezing cold grass, but at last she’s free from Mike. Sure, it’s cold and she isn’t exactly dressed for the winter weather (shorts and a T-shirt doesn’t really cut the bologna,) but a freezing five second sprint to the front door beats confronting Mike any day.

    Hastily, she sped around the house to the front door, still holding the basketball. She gripped the door handle and turned it.


    It doesn’t open. She tried turning it again and it still wouldn’t open up. Peeking in through the curtain, she noticed Mike, and he’s sticking his tongue out at her. “Mike, open the door, it’s cold!” She shouted, dropping the basketball and hugging her body.

    “You said you wanted to play basketball, so go play it!” He shut the curtain.

    “Let me in! I’m sorry!”

    “You’re always sorry after you do something wrong!”

    “I don’t want to play alone! Mike, please, I’m really really sorry!”

    “Nope, you had it coming for you!” And with that, he’s gone.

    “Miiiike!” She whined loudly. Her teeth are chittering and the cold atmosphere felt like it was biting at her flesh. With every exhale she could see her own breath.

    She continued banging and shouting at the door for about an hour, but as everybody was in the basement (Mike convinced his mom to play Uno with him and Clarissa down there, so she wasn’t aware that Michelle is outside,) her shouts were only heard by the wind.

    That is, until Randy pulled into the driveway. AKA Dad.

    Any good father would wonder why his little girl was outside in the cold dressed like it was summer. So naturally he was shocked to see her out here shivering and red nosed, hunkered in between the doorstep and the grill in desperate attempt to keep warm.

    At the sound of the truck door slamming, she looked up and sniffed. “Daddy!” she cried.

    “Michelle, what on earth are you doing out here dressed in shorts and a t-shirt?” He questioned.

    She stood up and hugged him. Unlike herself, he was extremely warm. “Mike locked me outside!”

    “Well, I guess I’ll have to have a talk with him, then.” he stuck his keys in the keyhole and unlocked the door.

    Stepping inside, Michelle by his side, they listened for the others. It wasn’t too hard to find them, just follow the source of rowdy laughter and ever-ending giggling.

    They turned the corner at the end of the room and walked down the stairs.

    “Michael, care to explain?” Randy firmly asked, eyeballing his son.

    Haley gasped, dropped her Uno cards and ran up to her sniffling daughter. She placed a hand on her forehead.

    “Why are you asking me? I didn’t do it!” Mike lied.

    “Oh, so Clarissa did it?” Randy questioned.

    “No! Michelle probably just walked outside and forgot to unlock the door!” Mike explained, standing up and gesturing as he spoke.

    “No, you locked the door, I saw you!”

    He growled and pointed at her. “Well she called me a jerk and stole my basketball!”

    “I only did that because you wouldn’t let me play with you guys!”

    “Hold it, stop fighting!” Haley commanded loudly. “Somebody please explain the whole story. I know about Mike excluding Michelle in basketball, and Michelle stealing it the ball, but what happened after that?”

    Mike spoke up. “Okay, after that, Michelle kept on bugging us about wanting to play, and after we kept telling her no, she called me a jerk and stole my basketball, then locked herself in the bathroom.”

    “Okay that’s your story, so what’s yours, Michelle?” Randy asked.

    “After he kept telling me no, and I said what I said, he yelled and shoved me back. I took his basketball and ran, then I locked myself in the bathroom. He told me that he would make sure that I would regret doing what I did and stood out there waiting for me. So I crawled out of the bathroom window and ran to the front door, but Mike locked me outside.” Michelle explained.

    “There we go. Two separate stories. Now piece them together and we have the full story.” Randy explained. He faced Clarissa. “I’m sorry, Clarissa, but I think you should go home now.”

    She nodded. “Okay, thanks for having me over…” She stood up and grabbed her stuff. “Bye Mike, see you later. Bye Michelle, Mr. And Mrs. Retro.”

    “I’ll drive you there.” Haley said, leading Clarissa upstairs. She whispered something in Randy’s ear before heading out.

    “Okay. You two both know what happens when you guys misbehave, especially when company is over.” Randy upsetly warned.

    “No way, I’m not doing it. It’s her fault.” Mike said, folding his arms.

    “Was not!” Michelle countered.

    Randy cleared his throat. “I don’t hear any compliments.”

    Because these two siblings are always fighting, Randy and Haley decided that whenever they argue they have to compliment each other one hundred times.

    Sometimes they would rather spend their time with the paddle than sit and come up with one hundred compliments.

    “Can’t we just apologize and be over with this?” Mike asked.

    Randy shook his head. “One hundred more to go.”

    They both sighed.

    “I like your hair.” Michelle said.

    “I like your shirt.” Mike said.

    “I like your shoes.” Michelle said.

    “I like your…I don’t know. Forehead.”

    “Ninety-six more to go.” Randy told them.

    They both continued their complements as Randy counted them down. It probably wouldn’t have taken so long, except after every ten compliments they asked if they could be finished.

    You would think that after all this time, they would learn to get along. Even if it’s only to escape this punishment.

    They’ll learn someday…hopefully..


-The End-


This is a short story that I wrote February of 2016. As such, I hope the overall writing isn’t too horrible!

The story takes place in the same universe as The McWilliams Family.

Hope you enjoyed the reading!

The Daily Grind – Random Fiction 1


Rusty cursed the thought of waking up before the sun had arisen. He slapped the off button on his alarm clock and pulled himself out of bed.

Without time to even eat breakfast, Rusty hopped into his car and ate a granola bar on his way to work. He had to force his eyes to stay open.

Arriving at work, he parked the car and entered into the building.

When his six hours of strenuous and boring work was finally behind him, he clocked out and began his trip back home.

“I think I’ll do something productive today.” Thought Rusty as he sits on his couch watching anime on Netflix.

Before long Rusty took a shower, shaved his hairy face, and laid out his work clothes, ready for tomorrow.

“I’ll do something productive after work tomorrow.” Said Rusty, finishing up his anime marathon.


“Morning already…”

Rusty got dressed and drove to work. Once more doing his part at work until he could finally go home.

“I worked hard today. I’ll do something productive tomorrow.” Said Rusty, pulling up Netflix.

And though it only seemed like minutes, Rusty’s day was gone in a flash. He went about his before bed routine and got everything ready for work tomorrow.


Rusty opened his eyes. He stared at the ceiling and thought to himself, “Adulting sucks.”









Dog Day – James and Derek

James threw the front door open and slammed it behind himself in great hurry.

His chest rose with every deep, stressed breath he took. He’s covered in mud and dirt and his clothes are filthy and torn.

“Have another run I’m with your biggest nemesis the dumpster?” Asked Derek, who’s sitting on the couch with his best friend Alexis (they are watching horror movies).

Alexis giggled.

“No!” James said. “There’s this stupid stray dog down the road and every time I walk by on the way home he attacks me.”

“It was bad enough when people bullied you but now even dogs are doing it.” Derek said.

“It’s getting really old and I’m running out of good clothes.” James sulked, collapsing on the couch beside Alexis.

“Have you tried keeping dog biscuits in your pocket?” Alexis asked.

“Yeah. Needless to say the walk home was quite breezy.” James stated, shuddering at the memory.

“I can take care of the problem.” Derek said as he stuffed his face with buttery popcorn.

“How?” Asked James.

“I can’t give away my dark secrets.” Derek stated. “Now leave us alone before you start crying in fear of the movie.”

The next day James, who has prepared himself for an attack by wearing several layers of winter coats, gloves, and more, began to walk the dreaded path that was home to the vicious large bulldog.

Ten steps in then danger zone and still nothing charging after him.

By the time James arrived at the house, he was pleasantly surprised that Derek was actually able to fend off that bulldog.

“Derek,” James began after stepping inside, “I can’t believe you actually — WHAT THE HECK IS THAT MONSTER DOING HERE?”

Derek is in the kitchen, making a milkshake and standing beside him is the exact bulldog that attacks James every day.

“That’s Stalker. He’s my new pet.” Derek said, petting the dog apparently named Stalker.

“…You’re joking, right?” Asked James.

“Why would I be joking?” Derek responded.

“You can’t bring a stray vicious dog in the house!” James said.

“He’s not vicious.” Derek pat Stalker’s head, then Stalker barked and rolled over for a belly rub.

James stared at Derek. “I’m not cleaning up after him.”